Things to Do to Be a Good Listener

Communication is more crucial than ever in today’s high-tech, high-speed, high-stress society, and the golden age of the internet and social media. Despite the many leaps in technology in communication, it seems that we spend less and less time genuinely listening to one another.

Genuine listening, or just being a good listener has become a precious commodity—a gift of time. It aids in the development of relationships, the resolution of difficulties, the assurance of understanding, the resolution of conflicts, and the improvement of accuracy.  It can even help diffuse conflicts and promote peace. Effective listening at work means fewer mistakes and less time wasted. It aids in the development of resourceful, self-reliant children who can solve their own difficulties at home. Friendships and careers are strengthened by listening. It can even help rescue both money and marriages.

Here are some tips you can do to develop some skills in listening:

1. Maintain eye contact, but don’t stare too much.

– This is like trying to hit a moving target while talking to someone who is scanning the room, studying a computer screen, or gazing out the window. Eye contact is considered a necessary component of effective communication, especially in Western communication. Not so, in Asian culture. But in general, maintaining eye contact with the person you are talking, to ensures that you focus and you. It gives the talker or the subject, a sense of importance. That he or she is the focus and they have your undivided attention.  Lastly, just relax and don’t stare too much. From time to time, you can look away or look past the subject.

2. Be open to their perspective or opinion

– Listen first, jump to a conclusion much probably later. Not at the very moment. Make sure to get all of the information first. Don’t jump to conclusions, especially right after they finish their story.

3. Provide some feedback

– Oftentimes the speaker doesn’t have a clue about what they are saying or the information that they relay. By providing some feedback or raising some questions or clarifications. It helps to facilitate that both you and the speaker are on the same page.

4. Learn to put yourself in their shoes

– To better understand the speaker, it’s good to detach yourself or learn to empathize with their experiences.  Allow yourself or imagine the moment that they were describing. And try to place yourself in the situation. That way, you will have a much better picture of the feelings of the person.

 5. Be observant of non

– verbal cues – It can either be his or her physical gestures, actions, tone and manner of speaking, etc. – Sometimes the story or verbal information can mean different on their physical or non-verbal cues.